Rest for the Weary

Source: via Kelly on Pinterest

I crawled into bed just before 10:00 last night, utterly exhausted, weariness replacing gravity as the pull on my body.

The week, it's been a long one. The post-cruise vertigo is getting better, but at an almost imperceptible rate. Corey is out of town. I'm solo-parenting four kids who are wrung out after a week of go-go-go vacation. Kieran's body clock is messed up, so he keeps getting up in the middle of the night declaring it morning. Natalie started swim team this week, adding two nights of after-school practices to schedule already packed with make-up homework. Everyone is stressed and short, emotions and bodies pulled taut by a week of Too Much.

So it's understandable that I would run for bed as soon as I got the kids all tucked in. But as I sank into my flannel sheets last night, I heard a little voice in my ear.

"It's not even ten o'clock. Shouldn't you at least pick up the toy explosion in the playroom?" it whispered, condescension coloring its tone.

I brushed it away. "So sick of toys," I muttered back.

The voice tried again. "What about your blog? Shouldn't you at least write for 30 minutes before you turn in?"

I stared blankly. Weakly. The pressure was starting to build.

"Or at least get up and watch Downton Abbey. You're already two episodes behind. Besides, if you catch up, you won't have to be on the alert for spoilers everywhere you look."

I fidgeted under my down comforter, trying to squirm away from my overachiever, productive, perfectionist temperament.

Why can't I just rest?

That was my answer to the voice.

I need to rest. I'm tired. Right now, I choose being over doing.

The voice slunk away, murmuring a little as it went.

I picked up my dog-eared copy of Bittersweet. Shauna Niequist has been my steady bedtime companion for weeks now, and her true, witty and always hopeful words redirect my heart. They remind me of what matters.

And it's not that there are toys on the playroom floor.

By the time I set the book down and turn off the light, I'm at rest.


  1. "I choose being over doing." YES. Self-care is so important but it's easy to believe we should be at the bottom of the list, after we clean the house, after we take care of everyone else, after, after, after. But often we wait too long and then who is there to take care of us?

    Rest well, friend.

    1. I am really, really bad at self-care. I'm getting better. But it's hard.

  2. I know the feeling of needing to do NOTHING. Sometimes, our soul knows what we need even before our mind does!

    1. And really, just needing to SLEEP. It's crazy that I feel guilty for going to bed early when my world is in such disarray. But there's this practical, Midwestern work ethic in me that translates this into lazy. Which is nuts. Sometimes I have to call it out for what it is.

  3. Hi Kelly, I think the voice is in your subconscious mind about blogging and you really internalize it. You are really committed to your children and your blog is one of your child now.

  4. I think you made the right choice. I also love Shauna Niequist. Loved Cold Tangerines and Bittersweet. Her new book is coming out in April. :)

  5. Oh, I know this feeling! I'm so thankful we had another week of Christmas break when we came home from our cruise... what with the kids getting up at 4am all week plus 2 of the 4 and my husband sick with strep throat!
    I am not looking forward to the summer and my husband's possible job that will take him out of town all week... but we do what we must. :) Hope you're starting to feel better from the vertigo now!