“I look like I stumbled into a nest of hornets.”
It was the only thought I could manage at 7:00 AM yesterday, after a night of restless and uncomfortable slumber. As soon as I started to get into the shower, I discovered the reason I was so miserable: hives. I was covered in them. From my forehead, back along my scalp, to my neck and torso and arms and legs, I was more hive than human. Angry, red, itchy welts covered more than 85% of my body.
A cool shower helped. So did a double dose of Benadryl. I figured it was a reaction to the antibiotic I had just finished taking for my (latest) case of mastitis. (Did I mention Kieran got all four top teeth two weeks ago? And that he likes to bite? No? Hmmmm.) I thought it strange that the hives would show up a day after I finished the 10-day treatment. But I’ve heard allergies sometimes work that way. "It’s not the first bee sting that requires an Epi-Pen. It’s the fifth."
I figured I would be much better today, since I haven’t taken any dicloxicillan since Sunday.
I was wrong. This morning, the hives were back with the vengeance. (“When Hives Attack: Tonight, at Eleven.”) And this time, the Benadryl didn’t work as well or as fast. And while I was driving to church to attend a new moms group, I noticed my throat was swollen.
Danger! Danger, Will Robinson!
So now I’m sitting outside of the doctor’s office, waiting for my appointed time to go in and see how many drugs it will take to return me to my pre-plague-like state.
It’s either this – or bathe in the River Jordan.
And honestly? My own children recoiled in horror when they saw me this morning. You do NOT want to see me in a bathing suit right now.
Update: Lo, the doctor had mercy on me. Because my hives are particularly brutal, he prescribed a steroid for me that will give them a good Hulk Hogan body slam. I took a full dose yesterday immediately after leaving the doctor's office. By nightfall, many of my hives were completely gone. And while I woke up with new hives this morning, they are dramatically smaller and less red. Good thing, too, because tomorrow night, I'm attending a fundraising gala for Minnesota Teen Challenge. I'd rather not wear the plague.
Also, because I'm a compulsive oversharer, I feel the need to tell you that all that Benadryl I've been taking? It hasn't been making me sleepy. It's been making me hyper. (Google tells me this is a paradoxical reaction. I love Google.) Just a note for those of you tempted to give your active toddler a hit of cold medicine before you board a plane. (Not that I would have ever considered such a thing. Cough.)