My Babies

I am falling.

So fast and deep, it feels like I'm living in quicksand.

Only this isn't death. It's love.

This might be one of my favorite things about a new baby. The chance to fall in love again.

This past week, I've done little but gaze at that sweet little boy.

I don't know him yet, but I'm already smitten.

And in a small way, I'm reaching back through time, to love all my babies through this final newborn. They all looked like this when they were fresh from the womb -- ruddy skinned, almond eyed, topped by a head of thick dark hair.





Of course, they don't stay that way. Natalie's skin retained the olive glow of her father and her hair lightened only subtly. Connor and Teyla grew to have the fair complexion and lighter hair of my Irish ancestors. And each of them has their own unique color of eyes.

They've changed so much, they bear little resemblance today to the tiny babies they once were.

But in a momma's heart, the present child and the past infant live simultaneously. Maybe that's why our hearts ache a little more with each passing year -- because it has to expand to hold more and more of our children, in both their past and present tenses.

So today, I will kiss Kieran's sweet head and kiss the head of all my children. I will hold his little hands and remember the beginning of each story. I will settle my nose into his hair or his tummy or his neck and inhale the most precious aroma on earth.

My babies.


  1. Oh my. Those are precious pictures. That last one of Teyla as a newborn with her hand on her face cracked me up. She looks like she was thinking up mischief even then!

    Love that sweet baby smell. I didn't need to feel any more nostalgic today, as my boy is taking his last final of the year and in about 35 minutes he will become a Senior in high school!!

  2. Oh that is just LOVELY. Thank you for posting the pics. You now have the number/type of kids I always thought I would have, two boys and two girls. Ah well, God knew I was supposed to have two little boys and that's it, I suppose.....

    Blessings to you all!

  3. You are such a sweet momma. You are blessed to feel the way you do and your children are doubly blessed. I know how you feel, and to recognize this stage of falling in love is so much fun. You can enjoy it so much more. Precious pictures.

  4. SO so cute!! I love seeing little Keiran (I am sure I am spelling that wrong, so sorry!) he's perfect!! I love the picture of newborn Connor all snuggled up one one of you; that snuggly newborn pose gets my heart every time!! They are all little miracles. I'm so happy for you! :-)

  5. Beautiful! I can't believe your kids looked so similar at birth, because each of them have their own look as kids. So adorable!!!

  6. Priceless! All 4 are so beautiful, so sweet.

    I loved seeing them as newborns and now. It's amazing how similar they looked, but now they are all so different. It will be fun to watch Kieran grow into his own little look.

  7. I have such ruddy babies that after Tommy, a stranger asked if my husband was hispanic or native american. Love those little babies with their red skin!

  8. Great post. Love the side by side photos.

  9. LOVE these pics. You and Corey do make such beautiful babies. :) I can't wait to meet Kieran....hopefully this year!

  10. Oh it's no wonder at all how you're falling so fast and so deep. Because he is SO precious!

  11. Adorable...all of them!
    I LOVE this post. I've never thought of it that way, but you are so right.

  12. Sweet, sweet pictures. I'm still waiting here, so seeing your little guy helps some! My little guy is coming soon...

  13. Love, love, love. I totally know what you mean. I miss my babies for real.

  14. (Looooooooong shuddering sigh...) No words, Kelly. Just no words. They, and you, are beautiful. My heart is all puffed up and gwishy with love!

  15. "But in a momma's heart, the present child and the past infant live simultaneously. Maybe that's why our hearts ache a little more with each passing year -- because it has to expand to hold more and more of our children, in both their past and present tenses."

    Love the pictures of then and now and how similar they all are as babies. So sweet...and hairy. Hairy in such a good way :)

  16. This is beautiful. Yes, the aching love that fills a mother's heart. You describe it perfectly.

  17. Okay, I wasn't feeling sentimental about this being our last until I read this post. So sweet, Kelly! Your kids were (are!) beautiful babies and have grown into darling kids. You are blessed! I remember being astonished with #2, and then #3, and I expect it with #4... that the love for your kids only multiplies. I truly didn't think it was possible. And it seems to "renew" for the others with each new baby as you reminisce the beginnings of the older ones. (Trackin' with me?)