The Missing Shoes

I was contentedly cooking dinner last weekend when Teyla toddled into the kitchen. She was carrying two Polly Pockets upside down in her chubby fists, waving them wildly with the glee that can only come from a younger sister snatching an object normally forbidden.

I narrowed my eyes in her general direction and zeroed in on the crime scene.

Miraculously, both Pollys still had clothes on.

But both were missing a shoe. A purple cowboy boot and a pink ballerina slipper, to be exact.

And Teyla was chewing.

Years of parenting have given me the deduction skills of Sherlock Holmes. I reached for the baby, who quickly scurried to the laundry room. But by the time I grabbed her and swiped her mouth, all evidence had disappeared.

She was no longer chewing.

Teyla gave a shriek of exultation and staggered into the living room. My mind raced. I wondered if I could pretend I hadn't seen what I just saw.

I looked down at the Pollys. Like roughed up miniature Cinderallas, they were -- hair askew, dresses messed. Missing a key piece of their outfits.

I suspected they might get their shoes back, someday. But I knew they wouldn’t be delivered on a velvet pillow.

If you know what I mean.

To rule out all other options, I did a through search of the Polly-land, also known as the northwest corner of the dining room table. No extra purple cowboy boot. No extra pink ballerina slipper.


The next morning, shortly after Teyla woke up, a strong odor came from her lower half.

The prince had arrived.

I sighed and carried her to the changing table. I removed the diaper. Sitting near the top layer of the … well, you know … were the missing shoes.

That’s when my faux OCD started to argue with my strong gag reflex.

On one hand, I needed those shoes. Natalie had already noticed they were missing, and I hate – HATE – losing pieces of our toys. I am the Mom who puts all the Little People back in their rightful spots each night. No cow or table left behind; that’s my motto.

On the other hand, well, EWWWWW! This was most certainly not in my contract.

So let’s take a survey: It's only one day past Mother's Day. Doubtlessly, you've been in similar -- or worse -- situations. What would you do?

If you don’t blog, you won’t get this, but I almost took a picture of the shoes once they were "found." I stopped myself before I actually grabbed the camera. Because, really. I’m dedicated. But the line has to be drawn somewhere. I chose to draw it here.

Update: If you're wondering what I actually did, you can read the rest here.


  1. gretchen from lifenutMonday, May 11, 2009 5:31:00 PM

    Polly doesn't need the shoes.

  2. Polly needs the shoes. Soak them in a hot water/clorox mix. She'll touch worse things in her life.

  3. Buy new Polly's! You crack me up. And you remind me a little too much of myself with the grabbing the camera thing!

  4. I'm a nurse, but I still THANK YOU for no picture!

    And I say ix-nay on the shoes. Now if it were your engagement ring. . .

    Besides, does Natalie know where they disappeared to?

  5. You couldn't pay me enough to extricate the shoes. I wouldn't be opposed to Natalie having them back (after a good soak in bleach), but ain't no way no how I'm going in after them.

    It's summer. Time for Pollies to go barefoot.

  6. A girl that loves accessories ...

    Funny how you and I are so different. If I find any piece of Polly Pocket attire or accessories on the floor, I chunk it in the trash. I figure eventually, there won't be anything left.

    And, for this very reason, our Polly Pockets never have shoes.

  7. What? No pics?
    My tummy thanks you.
    I'm really, really cheap. Can't bear to see things wasted. I'd glove, grab the shoes and then bleach and bleach some more.
    This post totally cracked me up.

  8. I would've liked to have seen the pictures. Honestly, I probably would've put them on mine. So did you save the shoes? Or did you chunk them?

  9. I would have wrapped the contents of that diaper up and put it all in the trash, then headed to Target and coughed up whatever the cost of two new Polly Pockets. Gladly.

  10. oh, girl, you make me laugh.

    I would have gotten them out because by this point, i am so immune to poop...

    And it inspires another ice cream flavor - Polly's Pump Chunk.

    ;) You're welcome.

  11. Eh, I'd go for it. It's all organic, you know? A little soap, and they'll be as good as new. :)

    p.s. just found your blog from Baby Bangs. :)

  12. eeeeeeewwwwwww!!
    Our polly's have many sets of shoes and single shoes that I keep because I might come across another quarter inch of plastic that matches it perfectly. I'll check in our lone shoes....I think we have a cowboy boot. your out of luck with the ballet slipper. :)

  13. First of all, THANK YOU for not snapping that photo!

    Second, I personally would've thrown away the shoes. Small plastic toy bits are always getting lost. You might say you are used to poo but I think fewer life-time experiences, the better.

  14. That was so freaking funny, lady. Thank you for giving me a good bluesday morning laugh :)

  15. I would have rescued the shoes, if for nothing else, than in gratitude to my parents for the many toy parts they saved from MY diapers when I was a toddler. Not to mention the pennies I apparently used to swallow on a regular basis.

  16. I would have rescued the shoes and then taken a picture of the awesome clean up job I tackled. That's what Clorox and Lysol were made for. :)

  17. I say Polly Pocket can go with the hippy chick look for a bit. Or maybe the barefoot and prego look. But definitely not the I-just-pulled-these-shoes-out-of-poo look. :-)

  18. Those shoes would've gone right in the garbage with the diaper. That's what I say now, at least. I can't believe she expelled quickly!

  19. My children would love this story. I would be gagging with you. Personally, I would roll the little shoes up in the diaper and say "Bye-bye little Polly Pocket Shoes!" Then I would throw away the forlorn shoes left behind with no pairs because the OCD in me can't stand singles. We must have matched pairs. Then I would declare it barefoot season for Polly because it is almost summer and barefoot is the only way to go during the summer. And one last thing....keep her away from the Legos. We don't want Lego Luke missing his light saber.

  20. I am fairly new to Polly's and still cannot believe how SMALL they make those accessories!

    My girls play with them on the floor and even after a good clean-up job, there are still some around that I have mistakenly vacuumed.

    No WAY would I rescue the shoes. You are a better mother than I for even considering it.

  21. I guess Polly would go barefoot if it was me in your shoes. ;)

  22. I say Polly doesn't need shoes! We lose pieces to toys (not quite like that) every now and then, we scour the house and I can never figure out where they disappear to. I go to great lengths to find some missing pieces of puzzles but I'll just toss the whole Polly before I search for shoes in THERE! ;)

  23. Teyla was just craving a little sole food, mama. Relax! ;)

    And I guarantee there would be a poop picture on my blog. Our lines are so different, my friend.

  24. I wish there was a picture. I'm just saying.

  25. oh girl that is nasty. I would definitely just tell her it was time for polly to go barefoot! It's summer now after all

  26. Polly perfers to be barefoot...really she does!!! Not that I'm afraid to clean poop off something.Polly's boots aren't high on my priority list....