My Favorite Story

We got home from our weekend excursion at bedtime last night. Thanks to your creative travel tips, the 15-hour drive was relatively painless. It did take us 17 days to get through Iowa, but no DVD or Color Wonder marker can help that.

Unless you’re sniffing the Color Wonders. In which case Iowa becomes a land of enchantment and glowing stars.


Since I have approximately 1,368 pictures to sift through before I can share a few memorable family wedding moments, I decided I would take this opportunity to tell you my new Favorite Story – the story I would tell you right away if we sat down together at Starbucks.

My youngest brother, Unca Jon, is in his mid-20s and has one of the driest senses of humor known to man. He’s like a human Cabernet. Only he isn’t aged in an oak barrel.


(And he’s single. And adorable. Sorry. Had to throw in that shameless plug. Here he is with Connor last Thanksgiving.)


He’s also the only relative brave enough to live in the same state with the Love Well family. So we get to see him often and hear about his single, mid-20s adventures.

Recently, Jon joined a small gym around the corner from his new residence. As he was filling out the required paperwork, the gym owner – a woman in her mid-30s – invited him to try out The Core training class she teaches on Monday nights.


She also let drop the fact that no man had ever come to the class more than once, presumably because they were wimpy girly men who couldn’t handle a real workout.


Jon, aware of the challenge to his manhood, agreed to stop by the next Monday night to see what he could manage.

So the next Monday came. Jon went to the class. Not only was he the only male in attendance, but he was the only person under 35.

Being a gutsy sort, he stayed anyway.

As you might imagine, he endured a good-natured ribbing the entire class. The instructor gave him a hard time from the stage, the other women constantly wondered aloud if he would survive.

Near the end of the class, Jon decided a little pay back was in order. He wanted to say, “Wow, I didn’t realize this was a Lamaze class,” a reference to the technical breathing required while working the core muscles.


Instead, he said, “Wow, I didn’t realize this was a menopause class.”


Whoops.


The whole room went quiet for about three seconds, then there was a collective gasp and groan.
I believe the instructor said something like, “We know we’ve been giving you a hard time, Jon, but that’s really hitting below the belt.”

Funnier still? He didn’t immediately realize his error. By the time he figured out what he’d really said versus what he’d meant to say, it was too late. The class had turned against him.
He barely made it out of there alive. There were gangs of middle-aged women waiting to take him down in the hallway on the way to his car.

To his credit, he returned to the class the following Monday to try and explain his “foot in the mouth” moment.
He estimates about half of the woman believed him.

And from now on, I believe he’s going to work out his core muscles in the safety of his own home.

P.S. Thanks to Jon for agreeing to let me blog this story. (Not that he had any choice in the matter, really. But it sounds better that way.)

34 comments:

  1. Laugh out loud funny! Great, great story. Glad to hear the trip went well and was relatively painless.

    Still laughing...
    Tracy

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  2. Too funny! I bet he won't make that mistake again!

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  3. Tooooooo Funny!!!! I am dying of laughter here.... hahaha!

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  4. Definitely got a laugh out loud from me!

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  5. Hahaha hahaha....that's hilarious!!

    Poor guy.

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  6. Too funny...isn't it amazing what situations our mouths can get us in?

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  7. That is the funniest story I've heard in a long time. I would have died if that had happened to me.

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  8. oh that really had me laughing. he sounds like a fun guy.

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  9. That's too funny. Great humble pie!

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  10. Priceless! It's so much funnier when SOMEONE else is the one with their foot in their mouth :)

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  11. Oh, that is a great story. And that line about Cabernet? SO funny!

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  12. For future trips, I also believe it takes 17 hours to cross Kansas...On the bright side, you can see a cop in the distance WAY before he can get his radar on you :-)

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  13. But it was probably the truth?! LOL.

    I hope I am not completely humorless when I am in menopause.

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  14. I'm just glad he made it out alive!
    Very funny.

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  15. So so funny, Kelly. Oh my. Poor guy.

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  16. I've figured out a way to not get beat down in a gym class...let your gym membership slide and take to eating ice cream sundaes. You can pass this helpful tip on to your brother. Kelly, you make me laugh! Sue (formerly of the rings of shame)

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  17. hey....I have quite a few equally cute (but in a feminine way) single 20-something Christian college friends living in Minnesota if he needs a little "nudging"... ;)

    Although, he's probably going to steer clear of any chicks for a while, at least until he lives this one down!

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  18. I don't care what you're sniffing, Iowa isn't exciting! Actually, the only thing that makes Iowa exciting is if you've just spent the last week crossing Nebraska! No arguing with that, is there? I spent a week there one weekend on last week's spring break!!

    Hysterectomy mistake! Wait, I mean hysterical! Too funny!

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  19. I snorted. That was so funny. I can't believe he went back!

    FYI, it's a 19 and a half day trip from the top of Illinois all the way down to the very, very bottom. Really.

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  20. And he wonders why he's still single. . . . .

    And traveling? Wimpy, wimpy, wimpy! :-) I could fit most of your states simultaneously inside Texas with room left over. El Paso is closer to California than it is to Houston.

    But at least it doesn't snow here in April. :-)

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  21. HAAH! That was so funny! Oh, the old ladies shoulda laughed at the menopause thing anyway. What's life if you can't laugh at yourself!

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  22. Verrrrry funny! Reminds me of the time that as a college student working in an office I made an offhand comment about them being middle aged. Yes, not a real stellar moment, either.

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  23. Oh, I love that boy already!

    I can say that because I wasn't one of the thirty-somethings in the room that day.

    I thought for a minute you were going to tell us he mentioned Lamaze and that the women thought he was suggesting they looked pregnant.

    Of course, a darlin' young boy accusing you of being pregnant and/or old is equally insulting.

    Glad you made it home!!

    :))

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  24. Totally hysterical story! I just read it aloud to my husband and he laughed too. And I loved seeing all those photos of you and your kids. Ya'll are the cutest little family!

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  25. Oh, that is too funny!

    Glad your trip went well. We're going to brave a road trip here soon. Did anything work particularly well?

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  26. Oh, poor guy! Funny story, though. But that is only because I'm 33 and not 35!

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  27. Oh my gosh that's hilarious. :)
    I love that he went back to explain himself. That's even funnier.

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  28. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Oh, that was SO GOOD.

    Tee hee hee!

    By the way, I know a SLEW of beautiful godly single girls down here...fly him down here, I will set up a speed dating night in my dining room.

    I kid. Sorta.

    Anyway, I tagged you.

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  29. Pooor Guuyyy! Ohh, I can just hear that collective groan!

    Yeah, lamaze class would've definitely scored high on the funny meter. Menopause? Not so high.

    Poor sap. He won't be making that mistake again I'm sure. ;)

    He does look adorable with your son. Maybe he should carry that picture around with him, so that when things like this happen he can pull it out to plead his case. "See? I am a good guy! Kids love me!!"

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  30. Hi Kelly! I'm here via Missy. I always "see you around" at quite a few of the same blogs (Miss and Elle for example, and others I'm sure!). This is SO FUNNY! What a hoot. That is definitely a Favorite Story for the ages!

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