"I'll love you forever," said the psycho mother

(Full disclosure: I wrote this post about year ago and published it on a private blog I share with some close friends. But the memories were stirred up today when I read The Queen B's list of seven random things about her.

Side story, but did you know she's practically related to George Clooney because of a pig? No, I will not shut up. Go read for yourself.

So anyway. I resurrected the post because it's new to my readers here, and the feelings expressed within come from deep in my heart. Truly. I love children's books almost -- if not more -- than I love Noggin. But this book could keep a counselor in business for years.)

Just a random rant today about the "classic" children's book "I'll Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch. I won't recap the whole book here, since most people seem to remember it from their childhoods.

I don't. But maybe I just blocked it out of my mind. Because, seriously: THE BOOK IS PSYCHO!

Natalie received it as a gift a few years back, and she's just gotten around to requesting it in the last few months. The story follows the relationship between a mother and a son as he grows up, and the common refrain is, "I love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."

OK. So it's sweet when the boy is a baby. And a toddler. And it's endearing when he's a boy and a teenager. But by the time he's a man and has his own place across town, the mother is so obsessed that she's driving over to his house in the middle of the night, climbing in his window, cradling as he sleeps and singing this song to him?!? That's not endearing. That's SICK!

Making things worse: the illustration where the mother is driving her car over to her grown son's house in the middle of the night with the ladder on top of her car. (And if you aren't familiar with this book: I am not making this up!) Maybe even creepier is the fact that she's tied a red flag to the back of the ladder that extends off the car. You mean, she's planned this trip?!? Let go, woman! Get a life!

Thankfully, the book leaves out the part where the son gets married and Mom tries to cradle him while he and his new wife are trying to be ... intimate.

OK. Thanks. I feel better now.

The question now becomes: How can I 'accidentally" lose this book before the kids request it again? Because I can't read it before bed anymore. It gives me nightmares.


  1. Woo Hoo! I love it! You are SO right. FREAK SHOW. I'll never quite be able to thank you enough for acknowledging my familial ties to GC. I knew someone would understand. Thanks for the invite...it was fun.

  2. At least your KIDS received the book. My mother in law (may she rest in peace) gave this book to my husband after we'd been married like 10 years. I know her heart was right, but the weird factor just did me in. The book is now stored in my husband's nightstand drawer, which typically is only opened once every...well, I don't think he's EVER opened it. Thank heavens.

  3. The JOY you gave me on this post is immeasurable. I have ALWAYS thought that was CRAZY!!! Maybe it is because I do not have a son. . . or because my mother-in-law seems attached enough to do this. . . thank you. Thank you!!

  4. Okay I really like you even more after this. I thought I was the only one who disliked this book. I'm not big on those uber-emotional maudlin books about mother-love: Guess How Much I Love You, The Runaway Bunny, etc.

    But then after my ranting today I suppose I ought to keep a low-profile for a while :)

  5. Come on now! I am so with you on this one--weird, weird, weird!

  6. That was hilarious, Kelly! Thank you for opening my eyes to the *DANGERS* of this book! I'll make sure that if it ever comes close to entering our home, it'll get no further than the garage trash can. Ha!

    Merry Christmas,

    ~ Leah

  7. P.S. Have you been able to dispose of it yet??

  8. i'm so glad i'm not the only one who feels this way! My mother-in-law gave this book to my husband when he and i first started dating with a little note stating she's always be there to talk if he'd only take notice of her again. why then would i be surprised to have this crazy story given to my infant son on my first mother's day!?